Internet Saviour Prophecy
The Information Network Messiah was first mentioned during the trial of Cardinal Pia Arrabo after his futile coup on the Light Sages shortly after the Lumi-Visian Civil War. It is the foretelling of EPIC OWNAGE on all who seek to destroy the Internet after they fail to hoard, taint and filter its free information. Those outside of the Mystian-Denizenic faith come to see the Internet Saviour as a mythologized figure whom those in the Holy Father Church look to as a Redeemer of the important information contained in the Universal Library that will one day be threatened by "secret factions" who want to censor, taint and control the information on the Internet. __TOC__ Pia Arrabo Screws Up Pia felt that his place as Record Keeper of the Universal Library was the Triumvirate's way of keeping him from his inheritance, hence the throne of Invisibase. He allowed Dagon to taint his aura by believing the Hæysux overlord's claim that the Sages were merely "using Pia like they do everybody else". Although Pia was placed at the threshold of Universal Knowledge, he was tricked into thinking that the Sages that made him the Record Keeper (Universal Librarian) would throw him away when they were done with him. Buying into Dagon's story would turn out to be the worst choice that Pia ever made and would haunt the Cardinal for the remainder of his existence. The Sages Make It Plain Pia became a butthurt crybaby at the thought of being cast aside and threatened to kill his father, uncle and aunt and destroy the very Universal Library he designed and built. For this, the Sages decreed that a special child be born among mortal men to rise up and defeat Pia Arrabo and defend the Information Network in the realm of men. The Saviour is vaguely described just before Pia is banished: 1. Bred from Universal Powers The child will be created from two Universal Powers. He will also be a hybrid, both human and celestial in nature and (upon closer inspection of the text in the Sacred Writ) of mixed ethnicity, a product of Nubia and Germania. 2. The Mother's Name Revealed The child's mother will be named "Sarai". She will be young and fertile; the child will be born out of wedlock and he will be hidden away before the Sages call upon him and he ascends to fulfill his role. But, being the short-sighted, power-hungry brat that he is, Pia misreads the text of the Sacred Writ. He doesn't know if "Sarai" is her actual name, a variation of her name or a play on linguistics pointing to a completely dissimilar name. Not fully trusting the Sages to their word, Pia comes to the conclusion that Sarai is another word for "maiden" or "lady", so therefore the mother's name will be different. When Pia meets Alema Gindo, he discovers that the name "Alema" (an Ethiopian Jewish name) in Hebrew means "maiden" and one of Alema's nicknames is "Lady of Tigray". And since Tigray is a region in Ethiopia, a nation that the ancients refer to as "Nubia", Pia believes that Alema is the Chosen One. Thinking that the father of the child will be a Caucasian out of Europe (Germania), Pia moves to take control of the imminent pregnancy and the coming child by getting "Sarai" to willingly partake in an artificial insemination process, thus escaping his fate by winning the child to his cause. 3. The Mark of the Pass Key Sage Jolen says that the only identifying mark on the Saviour will be on the back of his right hand. The crest of the Pass Key will manifest by etching itself into the Saviour's flesh while the Saviour is still an infant. 4. The New Record Keeper When the Saviour is mature, he will become the Universal Librarian. The Sages will endow him with wisdom, knowledge and understanding and he will walk with the Sages and serve the Holy Father Church for the glory of The Most. 5. Pia Arrabo's Demise Because Pia betrayed his race, his church and his family, he will be destroyed by the Saviour's hand. The Information Network Messiah will become everything that Pia was supposed to be, and more. He will bring Peace and Order to Chaos and Havoc and restore the Free Information Age of Mankind. Pia Gets It Twisted After escaping from Gavisel, Pia goes in search of Alema Gindo, his human ex-girlfriend who helped him create a being of ultimate power, but the experiment resulted in fraternal twins. Pia scanned through the Sacred Lumi-Visian Writ and understood that the child his father spoke of would be half-human and half-celestial. Pia strongly believed that the Blessed Child was Alema's son, who would grow up to become the Masked Bastard. Because Pia didn't read the Sacred Writ thoroughly, he missed major details about the Internet Saviour's mixed ethnic background. What a dumbass. Conception of the Child After years of Sadie receiving secret buttsecks from the Arch Bishop and thanking him with mud slides, the Masked Bastard finally got the courage to stick it into her love hole, which he pounded for hours before he filled her vaginal sleeve with gobs upon gobs of his man-cake batter, knocking her up. During her pregnancy, Sadie would reveal to her fellow Bishops that an alien creature came into her domain and had sex with her. Little did she know that the being she saw that night was the Masked Bastard with his face plate removed. After he had sex with Sadie, he visage-flashed her to make her forget the encounter. But little by little her memories returned, until she could remember how she loved every stroke and longed for every inch of him. Birth of the Saviour Sadie went into labor on the evening of July 5, 2012 around 5:30pm. Magda was her midwife while Marge and Rwanda filled in as nurses who didn't really help. Prior to the birth, Sadie had asked Indy and Ghoul to record the birth "for educational purposes". This later became an issue when Sadie apparently had a bowel movement while pushing. After nearly tearing down the middle to bring the child into the world, Sadie gave birth to a whopping 10 pound 3 ounce baby boy at 2:47am on July 6, 2012. The child received his name six months later. 'Things Sadie Said While Giving Birth' *''"Give me drugs...cocaine, morphine...ANYTHING!"'' *''"I feel like I have to shit a bowling ball!"'' *''"You broccoli-colored bitch!" (when told by Magda to breathe)'' *''"OH GOD, IT HURTS!!!" (while pushing)'' *''"What is this baby made of?! GRANITE ROCK??!!!"'' *''"WHY DOES IT HURT MY ASS?!"'' *''"MY ASSHOLE'S ON FIRE!!!"'' *''"OH GOD, MY VAGINA!"'' *''"Oh God! Am I pooping?!"'' *''"Stop filming, you assholes!"'' *''"I'll murder all of you if that footage is released!"'' *''"MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER, SHIT CUNT, SON OF A GODDAMN BITCH!!!"'' *''"I'm going to kill the fucker that did this to me!"'' *''"It feels like I'm passing a cantaloupe out of one of my nostrils!"'' Bottom Line When it's all said and done, when the smoke clears... Also See: *Baruch Rogers *Book of Bastard *Internet Saviour *Universal Powers *Universal Library *Blade of Anonymous *Pass Key of the Internet Category:Bishops of Bastard topics